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Resources For Planning A Gay Family Trip
Although same sex marriage remains a hot issue politically and socially, there is a wide variety of resources available to same sex couples traveling with children. In this roundup, FTF takes a closer look at what's out there. No matter which side of the "union" fence you're on, you'll be surprised to learn how rich and varied the travel opportunities for these special families are.
Not new, but certainly the pioneer and arguably the best at what they do is the non-profit Family Pride Coalition. For nearly 30 years, they have supported LGBT families by organizing parenting groups, educational workshops, social events and Family Pride Weeks. These vacation/networking events were begun over 10 years ago in the Massachusetts resort of Provincetown so families could get to know each other and explore the social, cultural, school and legal issues common to all of them. Family Pride has also expanded their organized events beyond the Family Weeks to more local programs and regional camping trips.
Events are often run in cooperation with a children's advocacy group named COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) who provide organized activity programs for children of all ages, plus specific social, support and educational programs for youth ages 9 and older.
Planning Strategies
Unless you're putting yourself under the safe and comfortable wings of Family Pride, you'll find pre-trip research is as essential for gay families as it is for any family. First step in planning: Decide how much you and your children want to fit in on vacation. There are a rainbow of possibilities.
The International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association (IGLTA), founded by five businesses in 1983, currently has over 1,500 members in 65 countries. It is a good resource for gay family travelers. From a searchable index of members sorted by travel category and location, same-sex partners can get contact information for member resorts, travel agencies, tour operators and others catering to this market.
Parents should note that how niche resorts will diverge from the "straight and narrow" path only becomes clear when you talk to those who operate them. Travel agent Richard Gertler of 1-800-TRAVLER in Wheaton, Maryland (800/872-8537) is one IGLTA member who organizes exclusive same-sex couple family weeks at otherwise mainstream resorts such as Club Med Ixtapa, or works with individual families to book customized vacation packages to mainstream properties.
A new adventure tour operator, OUT Adventures (866/360-1152), proudly works with the highly regarded Intrepid Travel to create exciting adventure tours designed with the needs of LGBT couples, singles and families in mind. It was founded by partners who admit, "We’ve done it all: resorts, cruises, independent travel, gay vacations and we have often traveled with straight tour groups... we wanted a safe, non-judgemental holiday that would allow us to be ourselves while exposing us to parts of the world that not everyone has seen." Their special family departures are in summer and the major holidays, and most departures require that kids be 6-years or older. What we like is that this company is very sensitive to the cultures they visit, choosing locally owned hotels and local vendors, guiding their guests on cultural etiquette and showing families how to support local craftsmen and eat at local restaurants.
To meet the need for family-specific tours, Rosie O'Donnell and partner Kelli launched R Family Vacations (866/732-6822) in 2004 with one main product: a Caribbean cruise vacation. Since then, they have organized a northern voyage on the Norwegian Dawn from New York City to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Provincetown, Boston and Martha's Vineyard, and do new itineraries each year. Distinctive for featuring discussion groups on adoption, surrogacy and gay parenting, in addition to cooking and yoga classes, Broadway cabaret reviews and concerts by the like of Cyndi Lauper, R Family Vacations really plays down the late night party scene.
Olivia Cruises & Resorts (800/631-6277), a tour operator who pioneered the lesbian travel movement 30 years ago, has since 2002 marketed select tours just for its family clients. Partnering with Club Med and Holland-America cruise lines on their family and children programs, Olivia charters specific trip departures, resort weeks and cruise sailings for clientele who prefer to be with "kindred spirits," including gay men and their families.
Many gay and lesbian parents are more interested in being with other families than with kindred spirits. "We don't look for any places that are LGBT friendly," says Noëlle Penraat, a film negative matcher from New York. "The children are comfortable being in a straight or gay environment so we basically go where we want to go." With partner Laurie Butler and sons Max (12 years) and Sam (10 years), they've enjoyed the Jersey Shore, Key West, and dream of one day going to Africa and Australia. "If people don't accept us, we don't really care," Penraat adds. "We are very open, and sometimes people stare, but this doesn't matter to any of us. We do think of ourselves as just an ordinary family traveling."
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