"What awful food!" complains one diner. "Yes," agrees another. "And such small portions, too."  This old joke captures the essence of airline food, a topic that makes people wince, grimace or laugh out loud. But it's no laughing matter to the airline companies who bend over backwards to make these much-maligned meals not just palatable but enticing. 

Most airlines survey their passengers regularly, asking about their satisfaction with food. At Continental, reports spokesperson Sarah Anthony, they even go through the garbage to find out what people are throwing away!

"Airlines are fairly equal when it comes to price and on-time arrivals. So it comes down to onboard service," says Linda Zane, president of the Inflight Food Service Association (IFSA) and food service director at Continental. Most of that competition takes place in the front of the cabin, meaning business and first class, in many cases the last frontier of the complimentary in-flight meal these days.  (Continental now only serves meals in business class on international and Hawaii flights, or domestic flights over one-and-a-half hours in duration.)

Has airline food really evolved from comedians' fodder to gourmet fare? Not according to Sanford Sherizen of Natick, a computer security consultant. "There's a kind of road rage in the air," he observes on frequent flights across the country, suggesting that disappointed travelers don't even have the sense of humor they once had about onflight food.

"On a plane, there's no chef, no kitchen and no cooking," reminds Boston chef Jasper White. "Look out the window. You are flying in a tube, five miles above the earth. There's no rational reason why anyone should expect a great meal up there." White would certainly know the hurdles to cross in serving airline meals. Former owner of Jasper's restaurant and now affiliated with Legal Sea Food, White consulted for American Airlines for 10 years.

This renowned chef served on American Airlines Chefs' Conclave, a culinary "think tank," with other stars of the kitchen including Wolfgang Puck and Paul Prudhomme.

Despite the challenges to gourmet dining in the air, White is confident that initiatives like the Chefs' Conclave have significantly improved onboard meals.

 "I think people forget how bad airline food used to be," laughs White. He credits the Chefs' Conclave with "making the food identifiable. No more mystery meat. No heavy, brown mystery sauces.  Previously, you couldn't look at the food and know what it was." White and his colleagues focus on food which can be presented well on a plane. "Baked foods like stuffed shells work well," he explained, "and seafood dishes in broth, like Redfish and Fennel in Saffron Broth."

To Your Health
Just how nutritious is airline food? Marty Heires at airline caterers, LSG/Sky Chef, notes, "Healthy food is what people say they want, but it's not what they choose." Larry DeShon North American director of onboard service at United Air, agrees: "People on vacation want to splurge." United has, nonetheless, won the "Physicians For Social Responsibility" award for healthiest airline food in the past.

"Airline food is basically about entertainment," says White. "It's something to do to pass the time." Some airlines reflect a concern that low-fat food won't be entertaining enough. Virgin Atlantic, however, noted their fun, picnic-style meals with gourmet sandwiches and vivid, oversized napkins still attends to healthy dining. Their recent upgrades include larger salads, more accessible vegetarian selections and nutrition information accompanying each meal.

Most airlines recommend pre-ordering a special meal if you want to eat healthy. And customers must be listening, because vegetarian meals have become the most popular special meal ordered. Airline vegetarian meals "tend to offer fresher fruits and vegetables and a healthier entrée," finds Renee Restivo, a travel writer recently in Boston for a conference. Choices continue to expand among special-order meals. There's vegetarian with eggs and dairy, vegan (plant-based only), fruit-only, and Asian/Indian vegetarian, which tends to be spicier. Any passenger may order a special meal by calling the airline, usually 24 hours in advance. Special meals reflect religious restrictions--Hindu, Moslem and kosher meals or health restrictions including low-fat, wheat-free or non-dairy meals.

What Food?
"I must keep picking the wrong flights," says Sally Lewis facetiously. Lewis, marketing director for 1travel.com, a top-rated Web site for discount travel, states, "I'm in the air almost more than I'm on the ground these days," but, referring to an array of U.S. airlines, she says, "I'm not seeing the food that's being advertised." She recalls a U.S. Airways "red-eye" flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia on which "there was no food service at all!"  This trend, of course, is growing more and more common these days, standard in fact, as domestic airlines cut corners.  Passengers on major domestic airlines, such as American, United, Northwest, now often have the option of ordering an extra-fee snack or sandwich box instead, a major shift in the culture of airline eating.

"We feel that the U.S. airline trend of removing food service from domestic flights is self-defeating," announced Michael Z. Kay, president and CEO of LSG/Sky Chef, the world's largest airline caterer. His company partnered with United Airlines in 1997 to prove that enhanced food service makes a difference to customers. In their test flights, United offered more food to passengers and tracked improved customer satisfaction, an increase in repeat fliers and an expected increase in the airline's profits as a result.  (United now offers complimentary meals for first and business class on flights over two hours departing during meal-appropriate times, and for economy class on international, coast-to-coast, and between Hawaii and Denver or Chicago flights.) 

Ask frequent travelers about their best inflight meal and all seem to recall an international airline.  "Singapore Air," reminisces business traveler Sherizen, who reports that on domestic flights "airline food is an oxymoron." Korean Air stands out for Paula Okunieff, a transportation engineer from Jamaica Plain, Mass. The airline has won awards for its presentation of native specialties, but Okunieff was most impressed by the freshness of their food, reporting, "Even their croissants were moist, eight hours into the flight." Sally Lewis raves about Virgin Atlantic. "I had a hard time deciding between rack of lamb with creme de menthe sauce, grilled salmon, or tortellini and spinach alfredo on my recent flight to London. I always take an international carrier if I have a choice," says this travel professional.  Luckily, international airlines still tend to serve complimentary in-flight meals regularly. 

Marty Heires, spokesperson for LSG/Sky Chef, says there are regional differences in airline food service trends. "In Europe, fly 30 minutes and you'll get food. It's just their tradition." He also describes flights in Asia as "heavily catered" in contrast to U.S. airlines.

But it's not all about food. Southwest Air offers no meals, complimentary or extra-fee, at all.  "No one has ever bragged about the last airline meal they ate," chuckles Linda Rutherford, Southwest spokesperson. "We'd rather you not pay for lousy airline food and have a steak dinner at your destination." She admits, "We're not all things to all people. But we look at what's most important to our customers is a low fare, getting you there on time, and making sure your bags arrive when you do. We've asked customers, 'Would you pay $5 more for additional food?,' and the answer is 'No.'"

Brown Bagging It
So how does the savvy, hungry air traveler respond to the growing scarcity of the once-lampooned in-flight meal?  One option is to purchase a sandwich or snack bag; another is to take your cuisine into your own hands.

"I carry my own food now," reports Sherizen, whose work can bring him to three cities in two weeks. "It's like I'm going on a wilderness trek." 

Edward Hasbrouck, travel agent and author of The Practical Nomad (Noun Pub., 1997) has learned to adjust. "My best experiences with  food on airplanes have been in countries where airlines aren't expected to provide food, so passengers all bring their own picnics, often of local delicacies, and share with each other and especially with foreign visitors."

Chef White explains, "Instead of being upset at the airlines, when I fly coach, I pack a lunch."

Janet Strassman Perlmutter works with FTF's contributing editor Kaleel Sakakeeny as a regular writer for N.E.  Booming. Her travel writing has appeared in publications nationwide.